Fireplace

It is probably psychological. The thought that there might be snow tomorrow just makes me want the fireplace on. And in a blink of an eye, I don't care that we've outgrown this house. The fireplace is everything and makes me want to stay in this house forever. The fact that I can literally flip a switch and have fire and warmth makes everything better. The memories this fireplace holds also makes the thought of moving away...well, difficult.

For family night tonight, we watched family movies. It was strangely comforting and heartbreaking to hear Adam's voice, his laugh, to hear him say our names, to watch him play with the boys, and to be so...alive. I broke down multiple times. He was a good daddy, but a good husband. Mine. It seems so unfair that he is gone.

I watched a devotional yesterday on BYU-TV that was very important and a phrase that I heard changed some of my thoughts. He said that in the temple we learn of God's ultimate fairness. I've never thought of the temple in those words, but I love them. I can't think of anything more fair than understanding where I was before I came to earth, why I'm here, and where I'm going. But the "fair" part comes in understanding that those truths are universal--they apply to all people living on earth and all people who ever lived. It wouldn't make sense that those who died without the opportunity to learn of Christ and His teachings would be punished or not receive the same blessings that we can all obtain. Ultimate fairness. I love the temple. So much to learn everytime I go. It really is a place of peace, but also a place where heaven and earth meet. We all need to be there and receive those blessings. I am eternally grateful that Adam and I made covenants in a temple of God that will bind our family together eternally. I'm glad it wasn't simply "til death do us part." We are not parted.

Off to sit by the fire and enjoy the quiet for the evening. I wish every night could be this nice. If only Adam were here, stretched out by the fire as he used to do on nights like this.