A Birthday Party

Justin has had one 'real' birthday party in his life...before Friday night. It isn't because I'm an awful mom (I hope!). It is because Adam and I felt like it was a bit ridiculous to have giant parties every year for each kiddo. It's also probably because that was how we were raised too, he and I could count what years we had parties and specifically remember each party. In our family, celebrating has usually been a small family thing for us, and that suits me just fine.

I asked Justin what he wanted to do this year and he said he wanted to have a few friends over to play the Wii and play legos. It was so age-10-year-old-typical. So he had a few over to eat pizza and have chocolate birthday cake. I was sort of dreading this, not knowing how the little boys would do with everyone, but it turned out great. I laughed at the conversation over dinner. These 'big' ten year olds, telling their family stories about who burps the best in their families, who tooted (no...they didn't use that terminology....) and family stories to go with. I thought to myself, it's good to know how Justin probably talks when he goes to other friends' houses. Lovely! :)

As I sat in the adjacent rooms, it was fun to sort of be a fly on the wall for once. I found it interesting the couple times where Adam was brought up by these kiddos. At one point during pizza, someone asked Spencer where he got his long eyelashes. I watched Spencer sit up taller in his chair and say proudly, "My dad. I have eyelashes like my dad. I'm going to be just like my dad." And then when I called Carson by his full name, the other boys asked Justin, "Your middle name is your dad's--'Adam,' right?" I sort chuckled to myself and nearly got teary as I thought how much Adam would enjoy these little boys sitting around our kitchen table, eating. Just about that time, my phone dinged. It was my sister. She is in our California hometown for the summer doing an internship. Since she can be directionally challenged (or so is the excuse) she hadn't gone out to Adam's grave. Until that moment. At that moment, she sent me pictures of Adam's grave, soaking wet by the sprinklers that were soaking her and her friend who went out to his grave with her. In some small way, Adam was integral to the evening, at least in my mind. I needed that. I needed his support. It was weird to be the lone parent putting on a birthday party.

The boys played so great, it was WONDERFUL. I realized how THIS is how I remember my childhood, being able to just play with friends all of the time. It is a bummer that our neighborhood really doesn't have kids in it. I think it still makes me antsy at times, wanting to move somewhere else. But I know I can't replicate my childhood. I just wish there were a few more things in place to make life a little better for my boys (like friends, a flat backyard, a pool, and a bit more space), but it's ok. I'm realizing how much more adaptable I have to be. Sometimes I think I'm learning in that regard, but then I know in my heart my stubbornness does not help my adaptability. Maybe in time.

We finished out the night by heading to La Vista Days after all the friends left. One of my and Adam's favorite things about Omaha is all the fireworks shows throughout the summer months. Probably stems from living in a desert-like risk-for-fire climate growing up, there simply weren't a million big stadium fireworks shows, other than after some of the minor league baseball games. So all the little cities here have these week-long carnivals that usually end in a giant fireworks show. I realized that the fireworks show for La Vista would be about the time Justin's party ended, but we managed to load up the car and wind our way to the perfect viewing spot. Perfect. The fireworks started while we were driving but since the shows are so long, we managed to drive to a parking lot and watch the last 15 minutes. The boys--ALL 3--thought they were awesome. It was so cute. Even Carson, who I thought would be scared by the noise, kept squealing in delight with every loud boom. I told Justin that he had quite the celebration for his birthday!

Even though I was ready to throw in the towel with the lack of cooperation from the boys in preparing the party, I'm glad everything came together. Fun was had by all. The confetti kept Carson amused, and Spencer thought it was cool to have all these big boys over. He tried to be one of them, and thankfully they were good sports with letting Spencer join in on the legos.

Whew.