Weekend of Healing

I learned so much this weekend. I can't even start to summarize my gratitude for the tidbits of knowledge and healing I received this weekend. It was the best thing I could possibly have done for ME this weekend, to attend a young LDS widows and widowers conference in Utah.

I will probably post bits of what I learned over the next few weeks. There are a lot of new thoughts floating through my head. Which is good. I learned that thinking new thoughts is healing and very important in grief. To repeat the same thought processes is not helpful. It's quite damaging, actually. It was something I'd never thought about before, but I now recognize in myself (and others) the reason why we don't always deal well with grief and other issues--getting stuck in the same thought processes does not help us progress as we should. Interesting.

I think I felt an overwhelming gratitude to be among people who had all experienced a similar loss, one that truly can only be understood by other widows. I wasn't prepared, I think, for the amount of young widows that were there. I mean, I knew they were "out there" but I wasn't prepared for the reality of what it would be like to truly be in the company of quite that many of "them"...or of "us." It was very comforting, really to be able to just "know" that they also...just knew.

One thing that I wasn't prepared for was the fact that each of these widows and widowers had equally terrible, horrific experience with the loss of their spouses. While of course I knew they'd have sad stories and experiences--death is never happy, for sure-- I hadn't really processed that ALL those in attendance would have just as dramatic, awful things they endured--just like me. They had the same worries, concerns, thoughts about their futures. It didn't matter if they were a few years younger, or a few years older. We shared a bond that was sacred in nature, something truly indescribable. I learned more fully what it means to "mourn with those who mourn." A truly humbling experience. One of which I thank Heavenly Father for allowing me to experience.