Accidentally

It happened. Again. Somehow there are still friends of mine and Adam's that didn't know Adam died. You know, like friends that we haven't chatted with in a while, friends who aren't living close by and we've lost touch with a bit. I HATE THAT. It makes my heart hurt. Not only because I have to tell the story of what happened again, but also because it is...shocking to tell them. And shocking to me that they don't know. Ugh.

I always wonder how many people "should" know but that don't. I haven't done Christmas cards for a while, and it doesn't look like I'll be doing them this year. Best intentions don't always turn out how we'd like. I tried really hard to get a good picture of the boys and I think with a little photoshopping I might have one...maybe. But of course I wasn't in the picture. It is time for a family photo.

And then there's the followers of this blog, or followers of friend's blogs who stumble upon this blog. I have received the most interesting comments on here--there are lots of reasons I have "moderated" comments, and that is certainly one of the reasons. It is always interesting when I receive comments that ask me not to post their comments. And I respectful comply.

So, I guess I'll just say thank you. Thank you for those of you who still check up on us, even though I'm fairly scattered at times and it's not as though I'm a go-to for nice happy inspirational messages of the day. I hope to get there someday, but truth is this: Life is just difficult.

A friend of mine posted a quote the other day about how if we all dumped all of our trials in one big pile and we saw what others have to deal with, we'd probably run and grab ours back out of the pile. I don't know if I'd grab some of my trials back, but I'm certainly aware that there are many more trials out there that are more difficult than mine. I wouldn't grab those for sure. So for today, I am simply grateful to be alive and putting one foot in front of the other. That's all we can do somedays. Somedays, that's ok.