I was brought up in a house where we wrote thank you notes. I've always had a love/hate relationship with them because sometimes they're so tough to write--whether just mentally taxing or just the pure laziness factor. When I was younger I think it was more the laziness factor and not understanding why people need to feel our gratitude. I'm now glad my mom made us write thank yous--I make my boys too. As I've gotten "older and wiser" I understand why they are so important. Sometimes they are the only way to communicate our gratitude to others. I've been told by some people that if people only give things or perform service to others to receive a thank you note then they aren't performing service with the right frame of mind. Hmm. Maybe. I don't know what to think. I kind of think that is what people tell me to try to make me feel like I'm "off the hook" for doing thank yous. And maybe for some people I am off the hook. Some people get offended when I do send thank yous, which of course I find kind of amusing. Can't please everyone! It's impossible.
All I know is that a thank you note doesn't even BEGIN to express the gratitude in my heart. And after my writing hundreds of hand-written thank yous, my list is still a mile long--and those are the people I "know" about. I'm finding that even after writing my thank you notes I'm feeling like I can't quite possibly express how TRULY thankful, grateful I am for the kindness of others--notes feel SO TRITE, so incomplete. The generosity. The amazingly kind hearts who have surrounded our family. IT IS OVERWHELMINGLY KIND. I have tried to think of a way of communicating my thanks. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. And that's a bit frustrating, because of course I'd like to thank everyone for EVERY. THING. I'm now really realizing (and I did early on too) how it really is impossible. There are too many, SO many kind Good Samaritans that have done so much.
The only thing that I can do for now (and we do daily) is pray for the Lord to bless those who have done so much for us, for them to feel of our gratitude. I hope and pray that they do, for we are indebted to so many. So for now, all I can do is sigh. Many times a day. Shake my head while I think about the kind things that I learn about people doing for us. And then I say a silent (and sometimes not silent) prayer of gratitude. How grateful I am for my brothers and sisters on this earth that love us, even though we are sometimes strangers to them, and they have hearts like the Savior. To love unconditionally, to serve unconditionally, just as He taught. It renews my faith in humanity. It teaches me that even though bad things happen, evil does exist, still in the end righteousness prevails. And it always will. Christ reigns and those who follow Him will be blessed for their efforts.
I never thought I would feel humbled in this way--it's something I wasn't prepared to feel. It is such an odd feeling. It's very foreign. I wish I could put into words the way my heart feels. It is just love. Overwhelming love. Love for all people. Love to you. Thank you. Thank you for loving us.
1 comment:
What a gift to be taught to write notes to express your gratitude. I do believe that if folks are gifting something, be it a tangible item or their services, they should be giving it with no strings attached. But receiving a note expressing the recipient’s appreciation is always a blessing, a bright spot in the day.
With that said, I also firmly believe that there are situations where the recipient shouldn’t be “expected” to write a note of thanks for every kind act or gesture. I believe you are in that situation.
After our incident we discussed in detail how to approach this task. We kept track of all our visitors and their generosity fully expecting that we would take that next step. We were in such a fog that we knew that we had to write down everything or else we would forget. After much thoughtful deliberation we concluded that it was bigger than anything we could take on. To this day, I still think about that decision and wonder if it was the right one... for those that were there for us. Deep down, I know it was the right decision for us as it allowed us to focus on physical and emotional healing. We wrote a few notes and we did a few special things to express our gratitude to those real difference makers in the moment. Beyond that, all we could physically do was express our deep gratitude in person, hold those individuals in our thoughts and prayers, and pray that they had some idea just how much it all meant to us. As we gain distance and as we heal we are more able to pay it forward.
I can’t imagine your list. I imagine it continues to grow and I pray that it continues. For us, writing thank you notes felt natural but the act of doing so didn’t feel healing. Focus your energy on tasks that are healing for you. Only you know what is good and right for you and your family.
Peace
Sonya (Abby, Ellie & Spencer's mom)
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