Say

Music can be great or really frustrating. I was rearranging family room furniture (putting things back how they "should be, how Adam left things), making some mental notes on changing up decor that I would like to do soon and a funny song came on the radio. Adam used to sing it to me. It was our own little joke. It was a song from the late 70s/early 80s that I truly thought he had made up until I heard it one time at the grocery store. It's a bit inappropriate to listen to while grocery shopping, I might add. So I've laughed at that song for 11 years. And it came on the radio today. I started laughing like a crazy woman. The kids, apparently, didn't seem to notice.

And then, a little bipolar seeming, I yelled at John Mayer when "Say" came on the radio."Say what you need to say...." I told him that no one (still) wants to know what I really need to say. I had some (ok, a lot of) jealous moments today. I'm not proud of any of them but I caught so many of my jealous thoughts in my head. It was strange, yet all part of the "so-in-so stole my life--what should've been my life" thoughts. So dumb of me. Oh well, more grieving.

I am attempting yet another way to try to get some more sleep and rearranging sleeping quarters for the boys. I really wanted to be able to do it all by myself, I found all the pieces to Justin's old bed frame in the basement. I even got all the pieces (including a box spring) up 3 sections of stairs by myself. Then, when I was about ready to lose it when the boards wouldn't fit together just right, I gave in and called my home teacher and his wife. He popped right over and helped us. I have big plans for a good night's sleep, thanks to Taylor. Big thanks.

I forgot about the fun today. We had a really fun Easter party at Stacy's today--complete with yummy food and an egg hunt. About 30 kids, whew!! Wow. But so fun. Spencer had fun "playing" in her bird bath in her backyard. He whined at me, "But we were making pasta mom!" I told him he was playing in bird poop. But in typical boy response, he didn't care. Oh the joys of little boys. They really are funny. Well, not so funny at 12:30, 2:00 and 5:00 am.

Fingers crossed for tonight. Tightly.