Bleach

There isn't anything like a little bleach to make me feel better. I don't know, it just makes me feel alive, full of goals, makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Probably because cleaning 3 bathrooms IS an accomplishment. But I was thinking about bleach and the symbolism it is for me (yes, I came up with this set of thoughts as I was happily using my Lysol toilet bowl cleaner and my Chlorox toilet wand. I suppose we have the ability to learn in any circumstance we are in!).

White is such a bright, light, perfect, pure color (or lack of color...I can hear Adam commenting on this in my head). It is interesting what bleach does--whitens, cleans, removes stains, disinfects. Bleach has the ability to purify water. It makes even the muckiest water drinkable.

Today it was bleach that gave me a new gusto. It did all of the things in the above paragraph to my bathrooms (they really needed it!). But it reminded me of my purpose. No. I don't believe my purpose is to clean bathrooms (I actually DO believe part of my purpose however is to teach my boys how to properly clean bathrooms though!). But I think I was reminded today that I have purpose, meaning, strength beyond my own that I have the ability on which to take claim. I feel like it is my right.

Satan has power to make us forget, to make us feel worthless, purposeless, unfulfilled. And yet we have so much capacity, so much ability, so much power. We have the power to be better, to do better, to act.

I find it interesting that lately I will come across a really great thought, insight, or prompting. And it seems almost as quickly as I have these good thoughts, a bad thought tries to take over--tries to tear me down, tries to make me forget what insights I was having, and puts me in a bad mood. I've never had experiences quite this stark, this strange before. But I am able to recognize them when I have them--and where they come from. I am very well aware that Satan works in ways that he is familiar with--he knows us, knows our weaknesses, knows how to push our buttons. And push them, he does.

Somehow though, we can come off conqueror daily. For me, I have to work minutes at a time. I was talking to Spencer this morning. I was explaining how his 3 year old little body has so much influence, so much power for good or bad. When he is grumpy, we are all grumpy. When he is happy, so are we. I know I struggle. I know that Satan works to bring me--and my whole house really-- to bring us down sometimes. Or seemingly a lot of times lately. Yet I know what brings us happiness.

Most of the time we just need a little bleach. Sometimes literal, sometimes figurative. I need bleach to remind me that my bathrooms can be clean again and I can hope that the cleanliness will give me some joy. But I'm aware that I need figurative bleach all the time. I need the cleansing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to strengthen me, help me, and cause me to stand. I need it daily. I know that it is the only sure thing, in a world of uncertainty and turmoil, that will and does bring me happiness--through repentence, it is how I can become whole. I need my Savior's unfeining love and assurance. I need Him to stand by me, particularly when I feel utterly and completely alone. And He will. And He does. It is His promise. How grateful I am for bleach.