Today's (Somewhat Manly) Accomplishments

It feels really good to cross things off my to-do lists. And today I mastered using the BBQ for hotdogs, learned how to use the weedwacker (and actually hold it in my hands once I get it running...even if I still have trouble pulling the pull thing to get it started!), and my dad planted a bunch of trees and shrubs that we picked out while he has been here. The trees/plants have been more hassle than I thought they'd be, so I'm very grateful to my good dad. I truly have the best dad on the planet and if I can raise my boys to be as good as him then I will have done an amazing job.

The boys and I discussed over dinner where we are going to place Adam's temporary headstone marker when we get it, once his "real" headstone is placed and the temporary is removed. We are debating whether to place it under the flowering pear tree or under the flowering cherry tree that we planted. I'm thinking cherry.

I can't do it justice to relate a post that my good friend T wrote on her blog, but the thoughts have stuck with me for a while so I'm going to attempt to relate something she wrote recently. Her parents live in Japan and went to go see the destruction that the earthquake and tsunami caused. The pictures are amazing--cars and debris piled high on top of each other. And then she showed pictures of a constant for that area--the beautiful cherry trees, blooming anyway amidst the destruction. It truly is my definition of juxtaposition. Even though a terrible, horrific tragedy occurred in that region, life goes on and the cherry trees bloom anyway. They are beautiful. They symbolize hope.

Cherry trees represent my life in so many ways. I told my friend of my love for their beauty and how I think they are a metaphor for my life. I spruced up my bedroom a bit and told T that I was trying to find a pretty photo of cherry blossoms and that I planned to blow one up and put it on canvas and then hang it in my bedroom. Last week I received an unmarked package of exactly that-- a photo on canvas of cherry blossoms. I found out later that she sent it. It is perfect, I just absolutely love it. It fits my room and my train of thoughts so well. I'm grateful for good friends who strengthen me.

I'm in a weird spot now, where I want SO much to plan, to make decisions, to have something make sense for my future. Yet I'm learning a bit at a time how impossible this is--exact planning. So, instead, I'm learning more about preparation. I'm learning that things will happen when I least expect them, so I'm trying to be prepared in many aspects of my life so that whatever comes my way will make sense and it will blend well in my life. The unknown is a scary place, a place many fear. I don't really "fear" my unknown because I have full faith and confidence that things will work out somehow, but it would still be nice to have a more complete idea HOW things will work out. That part I hate. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I don't particularly like surprises. I am known for finding my birthday and Christmas presents early, for reading the last few pages of a book first (or early) because of my lack of patience. I find myself helping my children with things I should probably allow them to learn on their own. Patience is a virtue...one that I am not confident I will master in this life. Yet God seems to keep giving me opportunities to learn this virtue. Gee, thanks! :) I think this impatient persona was something innate, a trait I had before I came to this earth. My mom was always sure of it and reminds me of my 6 week early arrival to earth as a newborn. The eternal nature of our existence is an interesting thing, and it gives me pause to think on the many things that I have to learn and strengthen while on earth.

I'm so grateful for good people--friends and family--in my life who I have the great opportunity to watch, to learn from, and to continue moving forward alongside. The cherry blossoms continue to bloom in my life. I just have to look up and watch for them or their beauty will pass me by.