9/20/11

I really don't say the following to brag or to get a pat on the back. Mostly I just want to document my day for two purposes: 1) when I want to sit on my fanny and do nothing all day and 2) when I have to go to work full time and am whining as to how it is possible to do things. Right now my brain can't comprehend how working full time could possibly coincide with a busy day like today, but like my good single-mom friends, I'm sure I will figure it out like they do daily....

Did the pennies birthday tradition, made breakfast for the boys and got them showered and off to school.
Went to Wally World to find Spiderman napkins and wrapping paper, per the birthday boy's request.
Home Depot. Educated myself on the difference of winterizing lawn products. Bought reseeding stuff for giant patch of lawn that is, ah-em, dead. Priced carpet, new stove, tile flooring, backsplashes, and bathroom cupboards/vanities. At this point, it is all a nice dream. Got that phone number but haven't made the call.
Laundry. Two loads.
Made a birthday cake. Chocolate, to be exact.
Carson lunched and napped.
Took cookies and birthdayware to Spencer's preschool. Got to participate in his star of the week spotlight. Listened to him talk about our 5 members of our family and his favorite things he did with Daddy.
Carwash. Didn't ever get to vacuuming it. Darn. It needs it.
Picked up boys from school.
Wrapped presents.
Helped with homework.
Made frosting/decorated Spencer's cake
More laundry.
Dishes.
Dinner.
Ate cake, took pictures.
Opened presents.
Moved lawn. Didn't get to weedwacking. Again. I'm just chicken. And there wasn't much sunlight left in the day.
Weeded patch that needs reseeding. Lots of weeds. Tilled the ground. Watered.
Watered back yard. Knocked down spiders and webs. Giant yucky wood spiders. Double ewwww. Played mp3 player loudly. Hopefully no one heard me singing. Or cursing.
Put boys to bed.
Changed several diapers in there somewhere. Cleaned two peed beds and cleaned up another pee accident.
Took shower #2 for the day. Lavender. Used lots of lavender.
Wore my wedding ring today. Hadn't done that in over a month. Not sure why I needed it today. But I think it finally felt wrong today. I am not married anymore. Rings are such a ridiculously worldly symbol. I think I've decided I wear it when I need to live in fantasy land. Guess that was today.

Lots of flashbacks today. Spencer's birth, Adam by my side through it. And last year. Spencer wasn't walking on his birthday last year. I remember lifting him to his seat at the kitchen table to have cake. Such a bad period of time in my life. I want to forget it. And I feel guilty that I want to forget everything about that time--my poor kids. If they only understood the trauma it was for me to see them in such a condition. I think I was justified in my cussing tonight as I did yardwork. Such awful thoughts, no person should be allowed to experience grief in this manner. But it is what it is I guess.

And Wednesday is always the busiest day of the week. I think I'd better get to bed to gear up. I think this is a night to sleep with Adam. Off to go find his smell.