A Really Red Day

One of those annoying "isms" about widows is we often feel like every song we hear playing on the radio, at the gym, at the grocery store is some sort of message sent from our loved ones.  It's very irrational, but it's how we think.  Or sometimes, it's just an overexpression of our own daily thoughts.  I think it doesn't help so much that a lot (most) music that is produced is about the subject of love.  Definitely a good and bad phenomenon.

Bah humbug on love.  Valentine's Day.  All of it.

If I hear one more commercial, receive one more ad in the mail for anything lovey-dovey related.....ARRGHH!!

Yet, I determined on a trip to Wally World the other day that I wouldn't be jerky and let my own current attitude influence how my boys view this holiday, even if I do feel like melting all the chocolate (however good it may be) on the planet.  For kids it's a time of candy and fun--like just about every holiday, it seems.  I only wished I viewed this year's holiday as fun.  It won't be "fun" for a long time I think.  Nevertheless, I vowed to be a "good" mom and came back from the 'Mart with shiny heart decor, heart dishes to eat on, and a new valentiney tablecloth.  Whatever.

If only court proceedings weren't going to happen on Valentine's Day, on the day I will actually be in the same room, breathe the same air as a slime-ball who I believe should only be getting an electric chair in his foreseeable future.  I swear this idiot has the worst timing on the planet.  W-O-R-S-T.  On Valentine's Day.  REALLY?  **shaking my head**

So, I thought I'd finish today with a random smattering of words I've heard in various songs on the radio lately.  Yeah, a little cliche, partially (no, more than) annoying...yet words that feel so real, words that I find myself saying  (either to Adam or 'others'), words that I hear and think Adam is saying to me sometimes.


"All my life I've been good, but now, I'm thinking.....what..."

"Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars?"

"You're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul."

"Learn to live half alive."


"We may only have tonight."

"Blue eyes deep like the sea
That roll back when...laughing at me"

"And all your tears will subside
All your tears will dry"

"And long after I've gone
You'll still be humming along
And I will keep you in my mind"

"I remember what you wore on our first day
You came into my life and I thought hey"

"There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose"

"Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb."

"Two is better than One."

"So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one."

"Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation
Half of my heart takes time."

"Half of my heart's got a real good imagination
Half of my heart's got you."

"But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life."

"Learn to live half alive."