Camp, ASCO, A BBQ, and Father's Day

It was a good weekend. Maybe in order to gear up for tomorrow I needed a good weekend? I don't know. I hate holidays. And while I love my father dearly, I really hate Father's Day now--the day is forever tainted for me. Am I always going to detest holidays so much? I don't know. I don't WANT to. They're just so darn tough.

Friday a friend watched the kiddos so I could go to Girl's Camp to volunteer as the nurse. It was fun to be able to teach them first aid for 4 hours (4 different sessions of 4 groups of girls) and to be able to help with the minor injuries and sicknesses that happen at such a camp. I felt particularly grateful to be able to put a face to a name with some very good sisters, and to get to know them. It was nice. And it was BEAUTIFUL at camp. I think my California snobbiness always thought that camp needed to be among thick pine trees and in the mountains. The camp they chose down by Nebraska City was neat--it was in a gorgeous forest! And actually, I realized as I was driving down that I had been within 100 yards of this camp before and just didn't know it because it was tucked away in the trees. I remembered going to the apple festival with Adam on one of our scenic drives and we took Justin to the neighboring apple orchard that was less than a football field away from this camp. So strange when I have these deja vu moments. Particularly when it was something so random, in such a rural place away from home. Anyway, it was a lovely place and I was glad to be able to serve. I wished I could've been able to be there all week, but maybe next year.

Today I went to the ASCO Review. I was dead tired so it was a bit rough to stay awake. The kids slept over at a friends house since I knew I wouldn't get home from camp until midnight, and that was a wise thing. I then turned around to leave my house at 7am for the long day of sitting and listening to cancer research. I was struck with something again as I listened to these experts. With the ease of technology and information at our finger tips, I think sometimes we take for granted the way we obtain information, and we sometimes don't refer to experts as "experts." I think there is a tendency with things medical (and in other subjects) to read and then think we "know" something without actually studying it out thoroughly. As I listened to the MANY MANY studies discussed at this years' ASCO, I realized again the complex nature of medicine, of our bodies, and why doctors do deserve so much respect for thoroughly understanding the cellular and microbiological intricacies of the workings of our bodies and drugs. It really was fascinating to listen to, to hear the nitty gritty details of medical studies. The blanket thoughts of just thinking that research is all about money--listening to this type of 6 hour lecture makes one realize that it is much deeper than money as a goal for curing/improving these different types of cancer and disease processes.

Then tonight. I went to a mid singles activity/BBQ. I (admittedly) dread these things, but, knowing that faith requires action...I go anyway. And they aren't all that bad, I mainly just have to get there and then I'm ok. There are some very sweet people who attend these activities that I enjoy very much. I'm reminded that 90% of life is more about our attitude and what we do about it than the 10% of what actually happens to us. So tonight there was a good turnout. We ate, we chatted, we played with fire (uh...ate s'mores from their backyard fire pit). I met some new people, I felt a bond. It always interests me to find those who are in a totally different place in life, with completely different life experience, and to find that they aren't really all that different. I love that. I think most people (yes...this is a BIG generalization, I realize) just want to be happy. Most people want to be married. Most people want to have a family. And it isn't necessarily easy to have all of those things. So I'm coming to realize that supporting each other in these worthy endeavors is more important than casting judgement. It's hard. We ALL JUDGE. We all have opinions on everything. Some of us don't always keep them to ourselves all of the time (yes, I'm smiling at that comment. I'm one of those...). And some don't share enough when they should. But we are all just striving to do the right thing and find joy in our lives.

I think the best summary about what I feel on this topic came from Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

"So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket—the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover home or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.

There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings—we hope and seek after things that are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.” The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear."

So my question for tonight is, how do we set achievable goals, worthy endeavors, while enjoying the moments in life--instead of always thinking "Well, when ____ happens THEN I'll be happy." Or "I can't wait for _____ to happen. Then things will be good." There is a careful balance between looking forward to the future with hope, and losing the moments of joy in everyday happenings. I looked at Carson tonight and realized how he has grown. I have tried to enjoy his stages more than I did when the other boys are little, but I know I've missed a lot. There is always this element of "I can't wait until he sleeps through the night" or "when he starts talking...." or "when he starts walking...." Somehow life seems to have passed me by in so many areas of life. I need to heed President Uchtdorf's counsel to "Forget not to be happy NOW." That is tough. I'll keep working on it.