Corelle Dishes Break

I got a reminder today. And it wasn't Carson that was throwing his bowl on the floor (I've learned my lesson the hard way a couple of times). Today it was Justin while getting down some cereal bowls. I still have ingrained in my head the commercial Corelle used to have on TV years ago about how those dishes don't break. Well, they lied. Big time. Millions of teeny tiny pieces of dishes everywhere. I knew that would start today off on a yucky foot. I was NOT happy.

I've been on a quest to figure out how to keep one room a day in our house clean. I think the only way to make that happen is to get rid of lots of things, lots of toys, and lots of books. I can't part with books. Argh.

Sister Kunz dropped off a sweet picture that she took of me and the boys at Vala's in the fall. I love it, love the cute frame. Especially since we really don't have many pictures of all 4 of us. I can't believe they're leaving. It's always weird this time of year when we usually have people moving out of our ward. It doesn't matter how many years I've been in our ward, this sort of change is never something I get used to. She told me something today that made me think the rest of the afternoon. She said that this is home now and it will be a very different thing to move back home. I think that all the time, that I can't imagine being anywhere else. I sort of wonder if that is what makes me stay, if it is just easier to stay comfortable rather than move on to life elsewhere. This has become home. The magic question remains, can this place stay "home" when I'm working? Will I be able to swing it all? Can I make it on a nurse's salary and raise three kids? I don't know. Something tells me it'll work out. I just don't know how exactly. Logically, I don't get it.

I punched/kicked out my morning frustrations at the gym. I have realized how much time and energy it takes to commit to consistent exercise--something that I never used to do. Thankfully I have been able to dedicate that time over the past few months consistently. I realize now how much time I could've used through the years in such a worthy pursuit, it sort of bums be out that I didn't grasp hold of this when it would've been easier to do so with Adam around. A friend and I have talked about how it really is "the life" to be able to 'just' go to the gym and get pedicures all the time. I think I wish that I had grasped hold of exercise when Adam did years ago, when he realized that the gym was what was keeping his sanity, keeping certain areas of his life in check. Oh well. Live and learn.

I thought about the blessings my family and receive and have received and I think it boggles my mind, for I feel like we don't deserve the outpouring of support, kindness and generosity. I think I always worry that people don't think I'm grateful enough. I worry that I have forgotten to thank someone for something, whether verbally or in a note. I know it has happened because it has been impossible for me to keep up on all the things people do for us--and especially as I reflect on when I was stuck in that dark first-year-fog. Yet I thank Heavenly Father daily for the many people in our lives who have literally been angels on earth for us. I pray that others will be blessed for their efforts and kindness, for in my mind they deserve all the best. I wish there were something I could do to show my love for those in our lives. It is a humbling thing to know that I can only pray for them.