Adapting

On some level, Spencer is getting a bit back to his old self, having tantrums galore.  Having one as I sit here and write actually, but I don't know what else to do with him.  I hate the nighttime routine; we were having trouble with him before the accident and this has just compounded things.

He's still waking up having terrible nightmares.  He's also really afraid at night, afraid of shadows and things.  He spends a good portion of the night tantruming and making up excuses as to why he shouldn't be in bed.  Yelling "Mommy" or "Grandma" or "Scratch my back" "Turn on the light"  "I need a book" and other screaming fits.  I don't know quite what to do with him, I think we're going to have to alter sleeping arrangements yet again.  I just wish the boys rooms weren't so close to each other, there aren't a lot of options where to put the kids.  And I really don't want to start the slippery slope of putting kids in my room to sleep.  I know I don't sleep well when they're in there.  Oh the joys of motherhood.  And widowhood.

This morning as I was getting ready for church I started humming a song.  Then Justin recognized it and said, "Mom, that's NOT a Sunday song."  I love how sometimes the things we teach our kids come back to bite us!:)  We don't listen to anything but church music on Sundays, kids primary songs, hymns, or other calming music, it's our household rule.  It makes the day a different day of the week, which I believe it should be.

But the song I was humming has interesting lyrics.  It wasn't until I googled it and realized it was an American Idol guy's song (apparently I haven't paid a ton of attention to American Idol the past few years, other than listening to their songs on the radio!).  So below are the words.  Maybe not the most "Sunday" of music, but interesting thoughts nonetheless:

Kris Allen: Live Like We're Dying Lyrics

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's too late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful how we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone

***Only...I did know a good thing before it was gone.  Adam was and is the best.